My dream last night...

I had the saddest dream last night...one that I actually woke up with tears rolling down my face. I dreamed that I had died...and now that I think about it, I am not sure where Clint was, but he wasn't in my dream...maybe he died too, hmmm? Anyways, back to my dream...I dreamed that Fawn was living at my Grandparents home and that my kids ended up living there...with Fawn & her family and my grandparents. I dreamed that my boys hair had gotten really long and they all seemed so unhappy and out of control. For some reason I was just wandering around and the only two people that could hear me when I spoke was Kellie, my sis & Abby, my sis-in-law...strange, I know (remember, dreams don't always make sense, he he) Anyways, I remember begging them to talk SOMEONE in either families to take my kids and love them the way that I do and do the things that I do for them. The response that I got back was that everyone's lives were too busy and just didn't fit my kids into them...I know, seems so sad and oh so NOT true! However, I woke up like I said with tears and the thoughts running through my head....Rachel is so young that if something would have happened to me, she probably would have forgotten about me by the time she was older...and to me that is so DEVASTATING. I kept replaying parts of my dream and felt like NO ONE could EVER replace me as my kids' Mother and that I am the ONLY one that knows their needs, their feelings and what works & doesn't work with each one of them. Then my thoughts were brought to those children that HAVE lost their parents and not only does my heart go out to them, but my insight on being the parent on "the other side" and watching your kids grow without being there in person to share their sorrows, accomplishments, happiness, etc. I guess I never really thought about that before...or at least it has never impacted me so much....it just made me so sad.
My heart was aching this morning as I layed in bed and so I decided to say a prayer to my Heavenly Father...I was almost pleading with him for the health and safety of all of my family members...now I know that we are not in control of what life brings us...but I tried telling him that I KNOW and feel like having a loss in the family is something that I could NOT deal with. I ended my prayer and was immediately overwhelmed with peace and comfort in my heart...and the fact that Rachel came in only minutes later and crawled up on my bed and said "Good Morning Mommy, I love you" only gave me that much more peace.
I know that I shouldn't read into dreams with whole heart...but in my life, I feel that my days are filled with so much chaos that the only time that inspiration can come through is in my dreams. I am so grateful for my choice to pray to my Heavenly Father for comfort and that I received just what I needed.